Whereas my dogs actually missed me while I was gone, and greeted me with the most exhuberant welcome, the cats viewed my absence as a severe inconvenience. I saw a t-shirt while I was gone, it read "dogs have masters, cats have staff" and read in large letters on the back of the t-shirt "staff". After returning from my vacation I am now convinced more than ever that I am merely my cats "staff". Whereas the dogs greeted me with joy, the cats greeted me with distain, "where the hell have you been?" sort of look, "how dare you leave for a week and leave an underling (the next door neighbors) in charge of our welfare and feeding, that is completely unacceptable." After getting a severe telling off from my cats they proceeded to do what cats do, go to sleep on every horizontal surface in the house, (okay so I fed them twice their normal daily ration of tuna to make up for my absence, so beat me I am a sucker) Within minutes the cats had decided that everything was right with the world again, the staff were home, and their every whim would be provided for..... it was time to sleep on something very valuable.

This is the longest vacation I have had since 2001. Seven full days away from work, the house and everything. Had a great time. Charleston is a wonderful city, and very accomodating of people who like to walk everywhere, like my husband and I. There are also lots of very nice places to visit around the area. We went to a swamp (I know how many people would actually enjoy wandering around a swamp for half a day?) Anyway it was the Audubon Center at the Francis Beidler national forest and was a glorious morning of wandering around the silent swamp just listening (and trying to identify) the birds in the forest. We also visited Cypress Gardens (another swamp!) and took a boat out around the swamp, what a glorious time that is, silence, crystal clear, still, black waters, with reflections like mirrors, not a single thought for the office or the other stresses of life. Took lots of photographs as you can imagine. Loved this one. I call it "The Cypress Sisters"

Mine was fine, although Christmas, in and of itself meant I had to go shopping. Which, I suppose for most people would be a joy, but for me it was a chore, you see I am not a shopping person, I hate shopping, and unlike most other women on the planet (if the newspapers are to be believed) I do not make a hobby of shopping. Nope, shopping is a chore, even the weekly grocery shop is undertaken with a morose sense of inevitability, so I do it today and I am going to have to do it again in another week. Nope. I am not a shopper, therefore Christmas shopping (even with a VERY VERY large bonus in the bank thanks to my wonderful boss) is a chore. I wandered around the regular places (the dollar stores, Target etc. with the exception of Walmart, I will not darken Walmart's door's on a matter of princple) where was I before I opened those brackets? Oh yes, I got various things that resembled presents for my husband as well as a boat load of stuff for the pets, knowing of course that Cueball would demolish them within five seconds of them being introduced. Must say however that the squeaky hamburger has lasted the whole day and is still intact, how long that premise holds up is anyone's guess. So other than cooking breakfast and dinner I spent most of the past two days taking photos of birds. Yesterday, to my utter delight the red bellied woodpecker decided to visit the posing table. Not only was he close to my camera but he splayed his tail to keep himself balanced and it turned out to be (what I believe) a beautiful shot. Hope you enjoy it.

So let me premise this entire story with the fact that the dogs are not allowed outside unsupervised right now due to Judy coaching Cueball to headbutt his way out of various obstacles and thereby gaining their freedom to the front of the house. Once there they generally frolic for a few minutes before deciding that it is way too cold for that type of behavior and Judy instructs Cueball to headbutt open the front door and in they come. So, to make sure that they do not do one of their escape routines while we are at work, the dog door in the kitchen is closed when I leave for work and is not opened again until I return. In this weather (read bleedin cold) it is not a problem as they tend to snuggle into the couch and sleep all day. Also the cats tend to remain in the house all day to keep warm, despite the fact that their much smaller cat door is always open should they suddenly feel the need to go outside. My husband has just finished school for the Christmas break so he was home, already fast asleep on the couch, having let the dogs out when he got home and then closed the door again when he decided to take a nap. So with this scene now set firmly in your mind I merrily enter the house carrying several bags of groceries. I lug the bags into the kitchen and put them down on the kitchen floor to get ready to put them away. I notice that Cueball appears to be particularly interested in an empty cooler that I keep in the utility/storage area of my kitchen, I leave the lid off it (and resting against the side of it) in order to avoid the inevitable musty/mouldy problem but also in there were two cushions which I use on my kitchen stool when I am taking photos out of the kitchen window. So I wander over to the cooler thinking that perhaps one of the kittens is in there and annoying Cueball and I see:
a) one of the kittens annoying Cueball
b) a lizard trying to escape from the cold
c) a possum, sleeping quite happily in the warmth of the cooler.

Most people would have chosen a) or b) but those who have known me and followed my adventures for a while know with certainty that the most unlikely answer is in my life most likely the correct one. As did I when I noticed a very long nose and some very long teeth. I blink, and call Cueball back. There lying quite happily in the cooler (although presently baring its teeth at Cueball) is a full sized Possum. I stood and took in the scene for a second, the possum, once it had finished baring its teeth settled snugly back down onto the cushions in the cooler and appeared, at least to me, to be quite happy. At this point, I stood in the middle of the kitchen and realized the points I had laid out before. The dog door was closed and had been all day, the cat door was open, but the cat door is very small, AND mores the point, other than the fact that it is very cold, what an EARTH would possess a possum, to enter a home where invariably it KNOWS live three dogs and seven cats? What the hell was it thinking? I just think that it must have been really, really cold. So I set up the pet gate between the living room and the kitchen and go to rouse husband (who you will recall is sleeping soundly on the couch. At this point I would like to point out that I have seen my husband only fleetingly, like ships passing in the night, of late due to his hectic and busy schedule, he came in the door the other night before midnight and I thought to myself "hmmmmm you look very similar to a man I used to be married to once") I prod him gently "Sweetie I need your help" he opens his eyes "I am sorry to wake you but there is a possum in the kitchen" he blinks "is it dead" (which was a silly question really because he knows from past experience that I am perfectly capable of disposing of a dead animal, not that I enjoy the experience you understand but you know I can do it without assistance.) He rouses himself a little, "a possum?" he asks again. I assure him that yes there is a possum in the kitchen and seeing as a) it is alive and b) it has teeth, I am going to need his help in some fashion to remove the offending beast to the great outdoors. After reviewing the scene for a moment (and retrieving some heavy leather gloves just in case) we decided that the best plan of action was to place the lid on the cooler and tote the entire shebang outside, possum and all whereupon he could be released to the wild, to live out his life, cold but unscathed. So off husband and I went into the garden (dogs still safely behind the dog door) and placed the cooler on its side at the bottom of the garden. Husband lifted away the lid and we waited for the possum to make a break for freedom. Nothing, husband poked the cooler a little with his foot, nothing. We both peered around the edge of the cooler and saw that the possum was lying there unwilling to move. "It's dead" says the husband "it's a possum and it was hissing and baring its teeth five minutes ago" says I, he pokes the cooler again with his foot "why won't it move" he says "its a possum" says I. "Why won't it leave the cooler" he asked at which point my lungs are about to burst "IT'S A POSSUM! IT IS PLAYING POSSUM" He taps the cooler again with his foot for good measure and we go back into the house. An hour later I decide to go outside and check that the possum has finished playing possum and left the cooler. But no, as luck would have it the possum, for some reason only known to the possum, had crawled onto one cushion and SOMEHOW pulled the other cushion over its body and was quite happily napping inside it's own version of a comforter. I shone the flashlight at the possum whereupon it woke and bared its teeth at me but then, obviously not feeling at all threatened by me, snuggled back under his cushions and went back to sleep. "You have to leave sweet pea" I tell the possum, he looks at me, and snuggles back down, "no sweet pea you really have to leave" the possum got up, enough for me to see that it was not injured at all. He walked around at bit, bared its teeth again, and promptly settled back under its cushions. I decided at this point that I should, if I were going to back up my story, go inside and get my camera so I could take a shot of the sleeping possum, safe in his cooler. So I headed back to the house. Wouldn't you know it, by the time I had got back to the cooler the possum had decided he wasn't going to get any sleep because of the idiot human with the flash light and had left. However, and it is a big however, has anyone any clue how the possum would have got in the house in the first place? Now I know I am assuming that it was through the cat door, but WHY? AND more's the point, why didn't the dogs even notice that a full size possum had got into their house? Yup I really know I am not in Kansas anymore.

As you all sit there, with a belly full of christmas food, warm and safe in your homes, think for a second of the soldier out there (Okay I am not going to do the politically correct thing of including the coast guard, Navy, air force etc in this post because for the most part they are not sat in a hole in the desert)...but just remember as you sit their patting your stomach after the Christmas Dinner that out there in a hole in the desert sits a soldier or marine (both US and UK) who's only companion is his gun, who sits there knowing that some idiot out there would like nothing more than to kill him and who, with his sense of duty and commitment sits and defends our freedoms. The fact that you can eat your christmas dinner in peace is bought by the lives of these brave boys. So for a moment, stretch back from the laden table that is christmas dinner and give thanks, thanks every day to these brave boys who are sitting in a hole in the desert, steadfast in their belief that they are fighting for our freedoms, and promise me the next time someone tells you that we are "losing the war in Iraq" you will smack the ever loving tar out of them..... and to the boys out there - good night and god bless guys... may you stay safe and may your god go with you. My heart and my soul are with you, and if wishing can become reality then not a single one more of you will die, but if you must die then only know that you have died in the cause of freedom.