Things are going on in my garden right now. Asiatic lilies and bearded irises are blooming, looking absolutely wonderful. I have every intention of going out there this weekend and taking pictures of the most wonderful brown bearded iris that I have blooming right now, yes I know you think I am mad but it really is brown. The garden is alive, things are poking up through the ground that I don't even remember planting there, but then that is not unusual for me, I constantly plant things, forget about them and come spring I look at a sprout and say "I don't remember planting that". The garden is proving to me that life continues, all around us, despite everything else that goes on around us, life continues. Life is good.

A dragon killer, cruising in the air above my garden, looking for prey, which of course have no showed up yet. I went out there this morning and began planting and tending, getting my patio bed ready for my critters. As I planted, and weeded and tended my soul began to heal from the awfulness that was this week. After my chores had been done and all the plants and bulbs were in the ground and two loads of laundry were blowing in the warm breeze drying, I sat with a cup of tea and just drank in the atmosphere. The dogs who had been outside with me all morning found a cool spot under and tree and after a little bit of digging a cool spot went to sleep. The birds were singing, and in the distance I could hear a Carolina Wren calling out his territory to the other birds. The red bellied woodpecker is looking for a wife right now so he is relentlessly rapping on the gutters hoping to attract attention. The lizards were out in force, no doubt enjoying the warmth of the sun, I saw a male running up a post which formerly housed a bird feeder and he flashed his throat in the hope of attracting a passing female, which it did, and in celebration he changed from his drab brown garb to his brilliant green livery and the female seemed impressed. A pair of eastern tiger swallowtail butterflies soared above me, oblivious to anything but each other as they performed their mating dance on the warm spring breezes. Bees buzzed around my Lady Banks rose, burying down into the petals and sipping the early nectar where they could. All around me the neighborhood was alive with activity, lawn mowers were coughing into life after a winter in the garage, accompanied by curse words from the owners of those that refused to do so. The birds, while wary of my presence, ventured down to the feeders to grab a late snack as the sun began to go down behind the trees in my neighbor's yard. A Morning Cloak butterfly flew passed, obviously looking for a scarred tree to drink its sap, and one by one yellow sulphers flew around the garden. Even a Cabbage White headed toward the vegetable garden and I didn't even mind. Later in the afternoon martins or swifts (whichever they were) flew above the house, gathering insects as they do, and then headed off to wherever it is they roost. I needed that hour. After an awful week, I needed that hour of rebirth and renewal, where life literally surrounded me, where all around me there was new life. Perhaps I can't make a difference to the world, perhaps I cannot help with global warming or world famine or even species going extinct. But there is one thing I know for sure, in my little acre I can make a difference. This year birds will thrive and produce young because I care for them, the lizards will reproduce in my cide free garden because I make sure that none of the insects that they eat will be contaminated, the butterflies will visit the flowers in my garden and then lay eggs on the plants that I have planted for that very purpose and the dragonflies will lay eggs in my pond and the next generation will hatch in spring next year, just as this year's generation are hunkering down in my weed infested pond and waiting just waiting for that moment when they know it is time to leave the water and take their first breath of air. And it is because of me. Perhaps I can't change the world, perhaps I can't save it. But I can save my little acre of it, and I intend to do so. And on the wings of a newly hatched dragonfly will go a little of my soul, and I will live forever.

You were a child of half my husband, a child of such promise, a child who, given the chance of growing and learning could have become something greater than your 4 years. Due to family conflicts you were deprived of a wonderful grandpa, and a wonderful great-grandma x 2, deprived to the extent that your parents and family could not even find it in themselves to let us know that you were gone. Night night Zander, your grandpa and I loved you, even though you were never allowed to know it. Your grandpa and I loved you. And we love you still.

So - this evening my husband returns from school with half a dead cow in a cooler in the trunk of his car. (Okay I am being economical with the truth it is not really HALF a dead cow). Anyhoo, sirloins, t-bones, rib-eyes, chuck steak joints. It would appear that as my mother (a vegetarian) would say "someone just murdered Daisy!" So with my belief that if an animal has to die then every part of it should be used for good right now the chuck beef, fat and suet (which was tons cause of course the beef was not "for resale") is rendering down in the oven right now. The suet will be drained into containers and mixed with bird seed and made into treats for my insect eating birdies, the beef and the bones will be dinner for my dogs. As for the rest, well my husband is having a t-bone for dinner. Most teachers get given apples, my husband (teaching in a hunting/farming community) gets half a cow! (oh and strawberries, and beans, and field peas, and corn and sweet potatoes and venison etc., etc.,).

Spring. It is spring here in North Carolina. (Or at least in my little acre of it). The daffodils are blooming, as are the jonquils and the forsythia. The Carolina Jessamine has buds on it and very soon will be bloom with its intoxicating scent.


Thankfully the flocks of grackles and red wing black birds have headed north and have left the bird feeders to my regulars and some overwinterers who are still hanging around, the Juncos, the Purple Finches and the Gold Finches. Soon the Gold Finches will change into their brilliant breeding plumage and head east to breed. Of course you all know how I feel about that. I head out into the garden in the evenings to see what surprises are poking their brave heads above ground. My daylilies are going gang busters as are my asiatic lilies. I have yet to go out there and "waken up" all my beds, a process where I go and remove the heavy cover of dead leaves and clip back all of last years dead stems and leaves but when I do I am sure I will find more surprises. The crocus have already bloomed and died



and I am next waiting the brilliant purple of my miniscule Dutch Iris. The other night I sat at a stop light and watched in wonder as a flock of birds miles long flew overhead heading North. I have seen several flocks of Canada Geese fly over the down town area but they are our local flocks. I am waiting for that flock flying through, honking as they do, heading back to Canada. Then my heart will leap, and I will like a mad thing head to the garden center and begin buying plants like I don't have a budget. When I will be setting out tomato plants and hoping that there isn't a late frost. I love this time of year, it is a time of hope, of new beginnings, of surprises and my favorite "I don't remember planting that!". Spring, my favorite time of year the world awakes!.