so says simpering female in jewelry store ad, "he found the right one." Meaning of course something in a jewelry box. Personally I think the right way is early on a Sunday morning, snuggling, when he wraps his arms around me and says "I love you so much" now THAT is the right way to say I love you, sod the bloody diamonds.

My birdies were very impatient with me this weekend. You see by the time I get home from work during the week it is dark, so I am not able to see if my bird feeders are full or empty. Now, let me point out that I am not talking about a single feeder here, I have a total of 16 feeders, platform, lantern, thistle, suet you name it. So I like to think that they manage to stay pretty stocked even when I am not able to fill them up every day. In any event by Saturday morning they were empty so my birds were, not to put too fine a point on it, annoyed. I went out there, in my slippers, and thereby freezing my feet off in the frosty grass, armed with seed and suet cakes to fill up the feeders. First of the complainers was the Mocking bird who landed on a branch about an inch from my head and began berating me from his perch. "About time too woman" he chirped (I have a very good bird - english translation book) "I have been sat here waiting for these feeders to be filled up for what an hour now? This is just not acceptable" I began filling up the feeders and the Mocking bird immediately set upon the large suet cake. "Don't let this happen again" he said to me as he was stuffing his face, which actually sounded like "domf lef vis happen agan" as his beak was full of suet. I went out back and set about filling up the feeders out there. Immediately two Chickadees landed and glared at me, "cheee cheeee cheee cheee" they screamed which translated to "get the food out there now woman, we have waited long enough, it is cold and we weigh about an ounce, we need food" as the Chickadees were giving me a hard time either a) the same Mocking bird or b) another Mocking bird with the same attitude landed on the posing table branch and glared at me. I poured a cup of food onto the posing table and before I had even removed my hand he was down there stuffing his face with peanuts. "You are slacking on your job woman" he clucked. I shook my head and continued to fill up the rest of the feeders including the suet feeders. After I had got back into the house the Carolina Wren came down and realized that there was fresh suet out there. Yet another happy bird.



I suppose I shall have to get up early in the morning and fill up the feeders before I go to work. Don't want to get the birds upset at me, I've seen the movie.

Which reminds me I went to PetSmart this weekend and they have the most wonderful selection of wild bird food, heretofore I have been buying my bird food at Lowes but PetSmart has a much better selection, hmmmmmm a shopping spree is in order I think, I got paid some extra money today for some work I did for another attorney, can we say bird food mad money? Mwahahahahahahahah.


My co-worker has put nest boxes in the finch cage at work, two pairs have "paired up" and are obviously going to mate, there is one poor little boy however who does not have a mate as one of the females died, he is in a separate cage right now, lonely. The poor little boy is just desperate to find himself a girlfriend. ELIZABETH FIND THE DAMN BABY A GIRLFRIEND OR I AM GOING TO BUY THAT FEMALE FROM PETSMART DESPITE THE FACT THAT YOU DON'T LIKE HER! Okay so that is said. Don't you just love sending personal messages through a blog.

*WARNING INAPPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN LANGUAGE AHEAD*

A baby polar bear was outside his snow cave playing. He went into the cave and said to his mom "Mom?" she said "what son?" he said "What am I?" she said "you're a polar bear son" he said "are you sure?" she said "of course I'm sure, you're a polar bear now go outside and play" about 15 minutes later the polar bear cub comes back into the cave and says "MOOOOOOM?" she says "what?" the polar bear cub says "what am I?" she says "you're a polar bear" he says "are you sure? are you sure I'm not a brown bear" she says "I am sure you are not a brown bear, you are a polar bear, now go outside and play" about 15 minutes later the cub comes back and says "MOOOOOOOOOOOOM?" "what son" says the mom. "What am I?" she says "your a polar bear son" he looks at her and says "are you sure? are you sure I'm not a grizzly bear?" she says "no, you are a polar bear go outside and play" about 15 minutes later the cub comes back in the cave and says "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM?" "what son?" "what am I?" she says "you're a polar bear son" he says "are you sure, are you sure I'm not a Koala bear?" she sighs and says "no son, you are not a Koala bear, you are not a brown bear, you are not a grizzly bear, you are a polar bear, why do you keep asking" the cub looks up at her and says "CAUSE I'M @%&*%# FREEZING"

Or if you are me, the non-conspiracy. I hope that this new report that is coming out will put to rest any theory that Diana was murdered which is utterly absurd. I have to admit that I am heavily into the Charles camp, in England you see there are two camps, the Charles camp and the Diana camp, and I belong in the former. There is a great deal that many do not know about Diana, incredible to believe considering the volumes that have been written about her. But, what is known is that she was a very unstable, bullemic, irrational young woman who had an ambition to be a princess but did not have the fortitude to put up with everything that went along with it. She knew when Charles married her that she was simply a brood mare, her job was to produce an heir and a spare and she did that part of the job, however, when it came to the other part of the job, being a good and simpering wife to the heir to the throne she couldn't handle it. I know that sounds harsh but she knew when she got into it that the scenario I have just described was how it was going to be. Diana would not be dead right now had she played by the rules, she would be the shining star that she was prior to. She would still have been married to Charles and would be looking at a future as the Queen of England raising her boys. She chose to date Dodi Fayad, she chose to get into a car with a drunk driver, she chose not to wear a seatbelt. All three choices for the mother of two young boys show an incredible selfishness. I am anti Diana because I saw and know the real star of the Royal Family. The Princess Royal, Anne. Years before Diana was tramping around mine fields Anne was doing it, but because Anne is not quite so photogenic it was not considered news. Everything that Diana did for charity or for a cause Anne did it before her and better. I know Anne and she is a true believer in her causes, she did not just do it for a photo op. I know of Charles and he is a great champion for the environment and for various "green" causes, a position which is hard to take in his role. I know Andrew and I consider him a personal friend, I think the fact that he still lives with his wife years after he divorced her because the public didn't approve of her speaks volumes as to his character. Let Diana rest in peace, she made some bad choices and it ended up in her death, Charles didn't have her killed, if Charles had put the hit on her it would have been much more subtle than a spectacular car crash in France. Think about it.

Those, in case you didn't know are lines from a rather wonderful song called (would you believe it) "Mumbo Jumbo" from the musical "Stop the World I want to get off." It is a biting satire of politicians by the rather brilliant Anthony Newley and his co-writer. (The final line of the song is "and my dear friends if I'm elected - yes, yes? - there'll be free false teeth for all." Which I am sure is a play on the "chicken in every pot" classic.) It reminds me of how utterly specious politicians are. They will say, not what they believe, but whatever they think will get them a) elected and then b) reelected. One only has to have a modicum of intelligence to actually see through them and it constantly amazes me that more members of the voting public do not see it. One classic example? In a recent election a congressman, William Jefferson I believe his name is, was reelected, nothing spectacular in that you may think, except that this same congressman was recently caught with $90,000 wrapped in foil in his freezer, the 90K being what was left of a $100,000 bribe he had been given. Now how on earth can your average voter sit and thunk to themselves "hmmmmmmm okay my congressman was recently caught accepting a $100,000 bribe, I am sure that he will have my best interests at heart when he votes on any issues" what kind of idiot reelects someone who is staring down the barrel of a federal indictment in a few months? The kind of idiot who does not watch the news and thinks that missing an episode of "American Idol" is a personal tragedy.

I like Barack Obama, I really do, here we have a thoughtful, apparently, considerate, caring politician, who has not been in politics long enough to have been corrupted by the system. I actually believe what he says. He is also of mixed race (his father was black and his mother was white) and he was, therefore raised "race-blind" as he calls it "color blind" as I have called it. His only fault is that he is a democrat, however my environmentally friendly side likes that about him. Unfortunately I think he has absolutely zero chance of being elected president, or perhaps even getting the democratic nomination. I think Hillary Clinton (who you recall I honestly believe is the anti-christ) will have him murdered between now and whenever he could be a challenge to her. It will be a neat set up, it will be blamed on white supremasists and she will come out of it smelling like clover and getting the nomination. Pity really, I think he actually would make a good president. I just have one question though, why is he called either black or african american when he is half and half, why is it (Tiger Woods is another classic example) that when one of one's parents is black the other parent (either mother or father) suddenly appears to no longer exist, and are assumed to have no input into one's heritage? It makes no sense to me. Tiger Woods to his credit has consistently reminded people of his heritage and refuses to allow people to ignore his mother. Can anyone tell me why that is?

This evening a sheriff's deputy in Wilmington was charged with second degree murder in a shooting case wherein the son of a prominent wrongful death attorney was killed. Apparently the student (at UNC Wilmington) had beaten another kid and stolen two sony playstations from him. When the campus police and sheriff's deputies went to serve the warrant for arrest on him this particular deputy sheriff shot and killed the kid. Now I am all for justice and all but I am curious, do you think this would have happened had the kid not been the child of a prominent wrongful death attorney? Lets say for the sake of argument that the kid had been the child of a welfare mom, do you think there would have been such an extensive investigation resulting in an indictment? Well do you?

There are new DWI laws in NC since December 1, 2006. While I am by no means an advocate of allowing people to drive after drinking the new laws here are simply silly. One of our local judges bumped into one of our local legislators recently and said to him "what the hell were you doing passing this law" the legislator looked at him like a deer in the headlights, he had absolutely no clue what the Judge was talking about, no clue, he had no idea what he had voted yes on. As usual MADD had drafted the legislation and placed it before the state senate, the state senate, as they always do, just rubber stamped it. That there MADD is a powerful lobby and has a boat load of funds to contribute to various candidates. One of our local attorneys, who has a sense of humor which I appreciate, has decided to form his own lobbying group DAMM, "Drunks against mad mothers." Okay so its a sick joke but you have to admit its funny. It is because of MADD that an 18 year old kid can get married, drive a car, vote, have children, join the armed forces, go to war, put his life on the line for his country, get shot at, get wounded, get killed, get maimed, get disabled, yet when he gets back to his "land of the free" that he has been fighting for, he can't have a beer to celebrate the fact that he came home alive. THAT is the most utterly stupid law that I have ever heard. I mean why stop at 21? After all don't insurance companies have the cut-off limit for safe driving at 25? Okay so let's raise the drinking age to 25, no wait a minute, maybe someone at 25 isn't old enough to make a decision as to whether or not to drink and drive lets raise it to 35. Heck, no wait lets raise it to 45, wait a minute, why don't we ban drinking all together? Oh wait they tried that, didn't work.

Mumbo jumbo rhuhbarb rhubarrb mumbo jumbo yak yak yak.

We have a rather charming tree topper, it is a porcelain head Santa which I had added to. In addition to his sack of swag I had added a french horn seeing as our entire tree has a musical theme (natch). The angels and cherubs are all playing musical instruments etc., the ornaments are all musical instruments or notes etc, the only difference is the other theme is cats and dogs (natch). Anyhoo, this evening I got home and discovered Santa on the floor. I do not know if he fell or if he was pushed, but in any event he had been decapitated and dismembered, it was quite tragic. Luckily several years ago I chanced upon a bag sale at the Salvation Army where all their christmas stuff was in boxes in the parking lot. In amongst the bags of lights I managed to find a porcelain head Santa tree top which right now sits on my mantle. I will have to attach the french horn to him and put him atop the tree. Hopefully he will survive the season. They also ate my wreath but then you know.... whatever.

I said this the other day but then after thinking better of it I deleted it, but now I am posting it again. Who in the world names their child Riley? Especially a boy, to begin with they claim an Irish heritage so they want to name their child Riley. Okay so lets analyze this for a second a) Riley is an Irish SURNAME not a first name, no self respecting Irish person on the planet would name their child Riley, so by naming one's child Riley one is basically telling the world that one is ignorant. Okay one suddenly decides that one is Irish so name your child Liam, or Connor or Patrick but RILEY? AND let us say for the sake of argument that you like Riley as a name, in the US it is for the most part known as a girls name, so lets get this straight you are a) going to name your child the Irish equivalent of Smith or Jones and then b) you are going to saddle your son with a name that in the US is a girls name. How ignorant is that? Okay rant over.

Why is it that people are separated for years, and I mean years, who come into your office to see you for a divorce SUDDENLY have a sense of urgency about it. Okay you have been separated for six years and all of a sudden you want to get remarried, so now your divorce is the most important thing on the planet and has to happen yesterday?

It is about time for my vacation and I am ready for it. I generally get a vacation once per year, the week of or after Christmas when DH and I either go to the beach or the mountains. This year it is the mountains. I am really looking forward to it seeing as the Carolina Raptor Center is now open for visitors (it is just outside of Charlotte) I am lusting to go there and get some shots of the resident birds of prey, and of course in addition to that I will just be grateful to have ten days where I do not have to get up at 6am.

Sprint, or Embarq or whatever name they are going by this week is the sorriest company on the planet. I paid my bill in full on Nov 1 using billpay through my bank, the payment hit on Nov 3. Last night I tried to access my voicemail account and was redirected to their bill collection service. I spoke to the person who informed me that my account was past due, I explained that no it was not, the bill had been paid in full on Nov 3, that I was looking at my bank statement on line and the money had gone out of my account and to them and they had been paid. The account person told me that I had to PROVE that they had been paid, I had to fax a copy of my bank statement showing that the money had been paid to them. So they have the money, and I have to prove it? That is it, I am going to digital phone here in the near future.

Things are quiet around here, don't make me tell the polar bear joke.