The air freshner conspiracy

Remember years back when they introduced "plug ins" they were the be all and end all of the air freshner industry. So like good little sheeple we all went out and bought them and noticed that they lasted for like two days and then didn't work anymore. Shortly thereafter Johnson and Johnson (a family company) brought out plug ins scented oil "that don't quickly fade away" In other words, "sorry idiots the product we produced and sold you previously really doesn't work worth a damn but this one does." So we sheeple went out and bought the scented oil thingies. Shortly thereafter they bring out the "scented oil fan" because the scented oil thingies didn't spread the scent around the room. In other words "sorry idiots, the new and improved product that we have been producing and selling you really doesn't work worth a damn but this one does" I never fell for it a third time, you know based on the "fool me once" theory. I switched to the Febreze noticeables which, really, actually, truly do work, isn't that a novelty?

By the way, on the TV advert for the aforementioned air freshners they show the packaging for the Hawaiian breeze scented oil fan which has a picture of a hibiscus bloom on it. Hibiscus have no scent so I am not sure how they contribute to the breeze at all.

Michael Vick's apology was very eloquent and well rehearsed. I saw that some people were impressed that he seemed to speak from the heart and without notes. It is easy to speak without notes when you have been rehearsing the speech with your lawyers every day for three weeks. I did notice that he failed to apologize to the dogs that he brutally murdered. We shall have to see what happens in the future for Michael Vick. Personally I think the only thing he could do to redeem himself in my eyes is to volunteer to enter a room full of hungry pit bulls dressed only in a thick layer of beef fat.

John Edwards' hypocrisy knows no bounds. He tells Americans that they should give up their SUVs when he owns both an SUV and a truck and flies around on a private plane. I honestly don't know how he can say this stuff with a straight face.

One of Hillary Clinton's major fundraisers turns out to be a) a bit shady and b) a convicted felon on the run from a prison sentence in California. Strange how that hasn't made the news.

Almost every summer evening in North Carolina smells like barbeque.

If Barack Obama ever gets ahead of Hillary in the polls he will be assassinated. Hillary will see to it. If anyone thinks that she is going to let anyone get in the way of her political ambitions then they are sadly mistaken.

What time do Morning Glories open up in different time zones?

Ditto Four O'Clocks.

If I keep putting on weight and have to buy a new wardrobe I am going to be sooooooo mad. What is the point of saving money not buying cigarettes if you are going to have to spend a fortune buying new clothes?

BUT DIANA IS STILL DEAD (AS IS ELVIS)! Sheesh, the news coverage of their deaths has got just beyond the pale, it is pathetic, two pathetic characters died because of their personality flaws (Diana's love of the media and of celebrity, Elvis and his love of drugs) and the media is lauding them as the second coming of Christ. Let me give you a clue here, Elvis died with a massive drug overdose on his toilet, how embarassing is that? He died on the toilet. Diana, a supposedly "dedicated mother" drank wine and cocktails in Dodi's apartment before dinner, they then went to dinner and drank some more, they then planned to go back to the apartment and drink some more, SHE GOT INTO A CAR WITH A DRUNK DRIVER, SHE DID NOT PUT ON HER SEATBELT! So much for the concerned, dedicated mother, a concerned, dedicated mother would not be getting into a car with a drunk driver and not putting on her seatbelt at 12:30 am. She would have been home, kissing her boys goodnight and reading them a bedtime story. Why the hell is there this "saint diana" mind set? Diana did not love Dodi any more than I love Osama Bin Laden, Diana was planning to marry Dodi for one purpose, and one purpose only, to piss off the Royal Family, it was her sincerest wish, and she knew of no better way to do it. Anyone who doesn't know that is simply naive to be honest. Diana was a manipulative, public relations savvy harpy who did nothing unless it was to benefit Diana. You want a Royal who has selflessly committed herself to the good of others over the years then check out The Princess Royal (Princess Anne) she was tramping around mind fields in wellies years before Diana was out of pre-school but because Anne is not quite so photogenic it somehow doesn't count. Get over it people Diana and Elvis are still dead.

While it is incredibly hot out there, if you look around my garden you would swear it was Autumn already (the season of mellow fruitfulness) The apples are hanging off the trees, just begging to be picked (which I truly must do in the next week, while I am happy to leave some for the birds I would like to gather some for myself and the next door neighbor's kids). As I wandered around the garden this weekend I noticed that the Elderberries were in full fruit, much to the delight of the Blue Jays and Mockingbirds. The grapes have already ripened and been gobbled up by said Blue Jays and Mockingbirds (I think perhaps I ate 3 this year, a record for me).



My Sweet Autumn Clematis Vine is in full flower and smells like heaven, not only does it smell good, it is obviously loaded with nectar because every nectar loving insect etc., within five miles appears to be visiting which of course means that both the dragonflies and the lizards are patrolling, hoping that something edible will land :)



Even my hosta are blooming right now which usually doesn't happen until much later in the year. I am thinking that perhaps we are in for a really cold winter, because everything seems to be on a fast track.



Yesterday I was wandering around the garden and I came upon this "goose egg" a garden spider, so fat I think she was about to bust, she is no doubt going to lay a huge egg case here real soon, in fact my one in the front of the house has already laid hers and died, that being her goal in life. Like I said, things are happening really early.



I just hope that the tadpoles in my pond have time to mature, right now they are still tadpoles, lets hope that they have the opportunity to turn into frogs. So much for climate change huh?

I am getting fat, well for me that is. I have quit smoking. As we speak I have gone from a 30 year 50 a day habit to 3 (not packs, 3 cigarettes). I have done it with the aid of Chantix but it has taken a great deal of willpower seeing as the Chantix takes away the cravings (it blocks the nicotine receptors in the brain) but it doesn't take away the habit. Anyhoo, the way I have done it is to deny myself that first ciggie when I wake up (6:30), I told myself, "no you can have one at 7" from there I said "no you can have one at 7:30" I have gone along in 30 minute increments from there. As of today I am up to 3pm, tomorrow my first cigarette will be at 3:30 (if I even want it). My biggest struggle is the one after dinner, I can handle the one after breakfast, I can handle the one after lunch, I can even handle the one after "well you know what" that one after dinner just does me in. My husband (who is also quitting) has not cracked the one as soon as he wakes up, so when he wakes he lights a cigarette, that is enough to send me scuttling from the bedroom into the kitchen, there is no way I want to be around the smoke when I know I have 9 hours until I "allow" myself to have a ciggie. I have tried, and better tried in the past to do this, this time I honestly think I can. I feel so good. However, having said that I am CONSTANTLY eating (as I type I am stuffing gummie bears into my mouth) because I am constantly hungry, I finish a meal and an hour later I am hungry. I have no idea how much weight I have put on (I have yet to weigh myself) all I know is that my clothes are a little snug right now. I hope it stops, while I can afford to put on weight I have no desire to buy a new wardrobe. :)

There is a Lenscrafters ad on TV right now it says (paraphrasing here) "it is time to put away the white shoes and get out the light sweaters" It is August 13, here in NC we have at least 3 more months of summer, and I don't mean gentle summer, I mean it is 110 degrees outside and only idiots venture beyond the air conditioning and lenscrafters are talking about "getting out the light sweaters" you wear a light sweater around here lately and you will expire after about 30 seconds. Do Madison Avenue even live on the same planet we do?

There was another ad on the radio this evening, "the 2007 vehicles are on clearance cause the 2008 vehicles are here" again this is August 2007, why are they saying that 2008 vehicles are on the lot? In fact when you think about it the 2007 vehicles that they are selling off are probably in reality 2006 (cause that is when they were manufactured) so the heavily touted 2008 vehicles were all manufactured in 2007 ( some could have even been manufactured in 2006) are there any people who actually fall for this marketing ploy, please tell me no, I would hate to think that some dumb ass goes out in August of 2007 and ACTUALLY thinks he is buying a 2008 vehicle please do not tell me that people are THAT stupid.

It is hot, not a mere usual North Carolina hot, but "it's bloody stupid out there" hot as my old daddy used to say as he hunkered down in the house safe in the air conditioning. Most folks would follow his lead but I had several things that had to be done outside this weekend (and some that I just wanted to do of course) so I was out there in the blazing heat and oppressive humidity. At one point I had to fill up my pond, clean out the filter on the pump and remove some matted weed from the waterfall. After that I cleaned out the bird bath which was about three inches deep in birdseed shells and as you can imagine smelled absolutely delightful. Seeing as just standing there doing absolutely nothing will cause one to sweat profusely in this weather you can imagine how much one sweats when one is actually moving around, doing something. Not surprising then that after I had finished hosing out the birdbath and refilling it I turned the hose on myself and just allowed the water to cool down my scalding hot face. Ahhhhh is there anything better I wonder? Somehow I doubt it.

When people ask me how hot it gets here in Eastern North Carolina I have told them in the past "its so hot the cats come inside to sleep." As most folks know cats are incredibly hedonistic beasts, and care for nothing but their personal pleasure. Heat therefore is one of those things which they seek out, and it does not matter where it happens to be that they find it, that is where they sleep. (In fresh laundry for instance.) On really hot days my cats will sleep under the car, on the cool concrete of the driveway in the shade. However, on days like this weekend (and today in fact) even they will not venture outside during the heat of the day but can be found in the house taking up every available horizontal surface waiting for the sun's fury to dim somewhat whereupon they will wake, stretch, perhaps have a cursory wash and then once again leave the house to take up their prime napping positions in the driveway. They are funny creatures.

Lazy Sunday afternoon, once the heat had subsided a little both me and the cats went outside. The cats to continue sleeping, me to take some photographs. I particularly liked this one of Con asleep on the arbor bench, he looked so content.



Well he looked content until "someone" noticed how content he was and that "someone" just couldn't bear that.





Speaking of Peaches she discovered many new things this week. Here is a further excerpt from her diary.

Tuesday - I discovered that I could remove the top from the female's bottle of face stuff and then put it in the bathtub. It made the most wonderful noise as I batted it around the tub. Does anyone know what "three o'clock in the morning" means? I wish I knew cause someone keeps yelling about it.

Wednesday - Female had replaced the lid of her face thing bottle but I didn't mind because I discovered that I could remove the plug thingy from the bathroom sink and that made SO much more noise when it was batted around that it was much more fun than the lid of the face thing bottle. I still don't know what "three o'clock in the morning" means, wish someone would tell me.

Thursday - I ate a cricket today. I think I prefer dragonflies.

Friday - Today I ran everywhere for no apparent reason. I like doing that, it always confuses the humans.

Saturday - I managed to trip the female up as she was walking down the path carrying groceries by weaving in and out of her feet really quickly. She says some funny things sometimes. I wonder what a "little monster" is?

Sunday - I was very busy today, even though it was very hot. All the big cats were sleeping which was really boring and I kept trying to wake them up by jumping on their heads but it didn't do any good. Still I had some fun. Eventually though I just gave up and went to sleep too, if you can't beat 'em join 'em I always say.