Whenever I call anywhere, and I mean anywhere, I am invariably greeted by a machine saying "if you would like to continue this call in English press 1".... spanish ads are popping up on our tv channels of late, some for cable tv, others for furniture, and Spanish language billboards are popping up everywhere. Then there is the Social Security Website, have you been there recently?, (its ssa.gov by the way), all of the forms to claim social security are there in English and in Spanish. Now this may be the politically incorrect thing to say but as far as I am concerned if you are going to come to this country (either legally or illegally) then you have a damn obligation to learn the language of the country. I am English, (as in English, born in England English) so while I speak English, I do not speak American English, I do not insist however that all forms are printed for my benefit (did you know for instance that in England we tell people to "fill in" a form, whereas here in the US you tell people to "fill out" a form) So why are there not "English" forms on these various sites, why are there not English ads which tell me about "tomahtoes" as opposed to "tomaytoes" Nope when I got here I learned very quickly how to speak the lingo, I learned that to get a cup of tea in a restaurant I had to ask for "hot tea" I learned that a jacket potato is a "baked potato", I learned that a handbag is a "purse" and I learned that a boot is a "trunk", I learned that a windshield is a "windscreen" and that petrol is "gas" I learned that spring cabbage are "collards" and I learned that asking for a packet of 20 fags in a convenience store was not the right thing to do. So if I can learn why the hell am I, (and all the rest of us) being subjected to everything being translated into spanish for the benefit of folks who are too lazy to assimilate themselves with the country where they are now residing. I lived in Hong Kong for two years, I learned enough Cantonese to get myself around, and my time there was limited. I think if you are here in this country with the intention of staying here permanently then you have an obligation to learn the language. I also think that the government (ie SSA.gov) should not be pandering to people who are not willing to learn the language of the country where they now live and who are wanting to apply for benefits. Just my honest opinion, no doubt I will get flamed all to hell for this.

I am probably a sucker for the ad machine but I have to admit that the current crop of GEICO ads are, not to put too fine a point on it, BRILLIANT, the Gecko with the Cockney accent is just wonderful, I will actually stop what I am doing and watch the ads, while it hasn't caused me to go to GEICO to check out their insurance rates (due to the fact that I did it several years ago and they couldn't save me money over my current insurance company that I have had for 14 years), the ads are like mini-programs, I just adore each and every one of them, especially the "pie and chips" ad, which, when you think about it not a single person in the US would understand, there is no such thing in the US as "pie and chips": therefore why would a person even be interested in "free pie and chips", in the US pie is mostly something sweet (like pecan pie or sweet potato pie) whereas in England (where obviously the little Gecko is from) pie is a whole gamut of things, Meat and Potato Pie, Pork Pie, Beef Pie, Chicken Pie, Steak and Kidney Pie (or pudding), which when you go into a restaurant is invariably served with chips (french fries) and gravy. My most favorite meal ever, in the history of the universe is Meat and Potato Pie, Chips, Peas and gravy with bread and butter and a cup of tea. Another strange thing is the other ad, where the Gecko is telling the other lizard to "be personable" "hows your mum, like a cup of tea, yeah lovely" this conversation is as alien to a US citizen as is question about eating sheeps eyeballs.., but, as the ads continue to air, one would assume that they are successful... which reminds me, my most favorite line in a movie EVER the worm in Labarynth "come on indoors, have a cup of tea, meet the missus" I think the GEICO people stole that line for their ads.

Right now Arnamade hates me. Which as you can imagine is a cause of distress for me. I love my cats, and dogs, and I would never do anything to hurt them. However, due to the fact that Arnamade broke his leg meant a trip (okay many, many trips) to the vet, so of course right now he hates me. This breaks my heart. I got close to him to try and stroke his head and he immediately draws away from me and flinches is as my touch was pure pain. I know he thinks right now that me approaching him means a quick trip to the cat box and another trip to the vet where someone is going to do something to him which is more than likely going to hurt. *Sigh* I am hoping that in the future that Arnamade realizes that my touch does not result in a trip to the vets, but that he can sit on my lap and knead without any fear, but at the moment he is afraid of me and it hurts my heart. As for the good news his nekkid butt is growing its fur back, hopefully soon there will be no indication that he ever had surgery, and hopefully he will trust me again.

Is it just me or has spam gone to new levels of absolute absurdity? This is the transcript of a spamail that I received today, the subject line was RE: Xanax and it included a picture link which was dead here is the e-mail WORD FOR WORD:

axis is dye waylaid a sovereign not horrible cool. dwell is oak donnybrook is inhospitable a cocky changeover good.
indigent is newbold ancestry a bugle not custom cool. emile is fiduciary voss is ammonia a crusty fidelity good.

it fumigant some t , philosoph try jackie it spade.
or eardrum or solar.
the hindmost may premise on casein some diego try maxine try cityscape or slut but friedman.
not betide some centric the grainy or staircase
try amelia see mutatis.
in bramble see crepe but driscoll but confuse some orbital be modesto but timetable.

some minute it's intensive in camelback not rata see shalom.
it's sweater some construe.
on cagey be bolivar the cognizable ! circular or sample not drapery some minos and brotherhood.
it's mycobacteria be cheerlead may downspout ! diplomatic
it's yokohama but spree.
but elmira but boatload in special in indiscreet or aeolian not dystrophy but trouble.
on backyard but peripheral in barrage , nettle some gamesman. the shantung or casey.
the shepard ! transcript or end not elmsford it's fascism on autotransformer the harley not career.
, deflate and depressant be melville but biotic
and hero or buttermilk. in incompatible a armco a offer but backfill on prohibitory try dolce some lignite.

Now you know I don't mind getting rational, if not irritating spam, but to receive something such as this is, not to put too fine a point on it, a capital offense as far as I am concerned, as far as I am concerned the person who sat down at their computer and typed this should be put to death, immediately, if not even sooner. When are we going to have a "do not spam" list the way we have a "do not call list" when it comes to someone trying to sell me something, I mean come on, catch up federal government let's start executing these people, yesterday! All those in favor say AYE....

I spent most of the day weeding and power washing my patio, but for a while I wandered around the garden checking things out, at one point I noticed a sulpher flying, which is not unusual for a warm winter afternoon, sulphers tend to wake and fly when the weather suits them, but suddenly, and almost like a blast from the past here comes fluttering a Silver Spotted Skipper. Impossible! Silver Spotted Skippers are not supposed to be here until May, at least, but no here he was, flitting around the forest looking for some nectar. It just about blew my mind, I can almost feel it, this is going to be a great year for butterflies, (whereas last year was awful) I also began cleaning out my pond today, but after I had caught and unfortunately probably killed about 6 overwintering dragon fly niads I decided to quit, who gives a monkey turd if my pond looks bad, so long as the critters that live in it are okay.... I also appear to have disturbed a VERY large frog, man this boy is a monster, so when I cleaned the stuff out and filled it up, turned on the fountain, all of a sudden he appeared, eyeballs only that is, at the top of the pond... will be watching closely to get an ID in the near future.